Coping with Grief

You might be reading this blog because you have experienced the death of a loved one or friend. Perhaps you know of someone experiencing bereavement who is looking for answers. Though there are accepted stages of grief, everyone faces and copes with grief in their way.

Anything you can share at the bottom of this post regarding your experience with grief will be greatly appreciated. Many people are still searching for answers. Please feel free to post a question or comment on this about living life following the death of a loved one.

Grief is exhausting.  Your body will ache. The physical pain when dealing with grief is VERY real.

Normally, people will console you….for three weeks; afterward, they will think it’s time for you to move on.  Little do they know, grief is not like getting over the flu.  They are afraid to mention your loved one’s name because they don’t want to remind you of your loved one…..as if you aren’t already thinking of the one you lost nonstop.  People will offer advice, such as I know how you feel, My niece died or My dog died. Be assured it is not the same.

Joining a support group can be very beneficial. For bereaved parents, The Compassionate Friends (TCF) is a support group that meets once a month in towns throughout the world. You will learn there is NO TIMELINE for grief.  We all grieve at our own pace.

There are bereavement groups for people, grieving the loss of anyone, be it spouse, sibling, friend, even a pet.  Hearing from people, who’ve walked in your shoes, is very comforting.  One thing I’ve learned is time does NOT heal all; however, time does take you further from the moment.  

The BEST thing a friend can do is say, I’m sorry and hug you.  They will say, Call me if you need me.  Heck, you don’t know what you need.  You’ve never experienced this.

One needs to know this, if he/she can work the stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression & Acceptance; he/she can feel & laugh again.  This is not to say they will completely get over it.  That is NOT an option; however, they can live a normal life.  It will just be a new normal life.

To learn more about coping with grief, review the book, Rise Above: Conquering Adversities. it’s also available in ebook format.

Dr. Greg Little is a nationally known speaker and motivator. He has presented seminars on Laughter, Substance Abuse Treatment & Mental Health Treatment extensively throughout the United States. His book, "Rise Above: Conquering Adversities," has sold in ten (10) countries and helped countless individuals realize they are limited only by their ability to adapt.

2 Comments

  1. The introduction of this blog mentions a support group, The Compassionate Friends (TCF), which helps parents grieving the death of a child. It meets at 7 PM the second Tuesday of every month in chapters worldwide. It’s comforting to hear someone say, “I know how you feel,” when they really do.

    Too, the best way to console a bereaved person, in my opinion, is to just be present. Hugs are very much needed. This may sound dorky, but the hug should be a warm holding hug unlike a pat on the back hug. Too often when people try to console someone, they give a “burp the baby” hug. Don’t do that. Bereaved parents need touch not burping.

    One thing they don’t need is advice, such as, “Your child’s in a better place.” That may be true; regardless, the parents still wish their child was with them. Or, “It’ll just take time.” It’s not like getting over the flu. Or, “The Lord needed an angel.” Let Him get His own angel. Or, If there is anything I can do, call me. They are not going to call you, because they have no idea what they need. The first six months (approximately), they are in shock.

    Three weeks after the death of a child, people stop mentioning the child’s name. They don’t want to remind the parent of their child, who has died. The child is always on the parent’s mind. Hearing someone say their child’s name is much needed and will be music to their ears.

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